I Saw My Obituary

I had to face my mortality today.
As I sit in my chair,
I look over the words that’ve stared
me down…
The life of one briefly detailed
as line-after-line continues forward
and my thoughts get distorted
with assorted
questions of my own worth.

I gambled to get here,
but often I adhere to the fear
that this is a mere souvenir
to placate a risky career
move.
I’ve been living under the guidance of plan B,
because plan A never gave a guarantee
while plan C would mean I have failed me,
and the persistent nagging has made me dizzy.

The drills try to bore through
with the speed and virility
of an engineer with the efficiency
of a German-bred entity
while I battle with what isn’t me.
I have gotten lost…
I have plunged too deep in the relation-sea
gettin’ thrashed and knocked aside
as I tried to hide
from what was painfully obvious –
something that’s really in all of us.

The harsh voices of doubt tries
to overshadow any deeds with lies
about our motives not being equal.
But my motives were never evil,
my motives were never see-through,
yet outsiders would fly in and claim what I’ve been up to.
They gave a notice to you
but scared to notify me, too.

Well if they want to divide and conquer,
try to corner me and you’ll find my posture
had buried something deep inside, a monster
so before you become a goner, you should try to alter
your approach on how to step to this newborn author.

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3 thoughts on “I Saw My Obituary

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